Unexpected Visit
by garbage men are evil
Summary: This is what happens when a Titan is home alone and a not so supernatural creature decides to pay them a visit. Second story, going with comedy. T for crude humor. Hope you laugh.


**Here's an idea that I had recently. What if a Titan was home alone and got a visit from a complete (eccentric) stranger? What would happen? This chapter's character (victim) was Beast Boy. How will he react to the stranger randomly appearing in the Tower? This is something new I'm trying out, and I love comedies. Enjoy. (Be sure to tell me if you laughed! )**

Unexpected Visit

Beast Boy

Beast Boy had managed to sleep in for the third time this week, and the rest of the Titans didn't even bother waking him up this time. With the local museum being robbed by Control Freak they had bigger problems to deal with, and left him to his dreaming (and drooling…). When the green shape shifter did finally wake up he found himself alone, and was curious about his team mates' whereabouts. That was until he found the note that Robin left taped on his head. (The nerve of that guy!) It read, "Beast Boy you lazy lump! This is the third time you slept in. We went on a mission without you; just try to entertain yourself until we get back."

A mischievous smile came across Beast Boy's face at the thought of all the things he could do without the other Titans knowing. Drive the T Car, no, probably not such a good idea. Go in Raven's room, again, wouldn't end well.

"Maybe I could, no, Robin would personally wring my neck… Um… Oh! I know! I'll get some breakfast for now. Brain food should help me come up with something."

It was genius! Well, average in a normal person's view but genius in Beast Boy's, and he is the main character, so I guess it's genius… He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a plate of tofu.

"What's the secret sauce today? Barbeque, no… Mustard? Uh-uh. Horse radish, I guess so."

Beast Boy strutted over with his heaping plate of cold tofu straight to the sofa. It was nice to enjoy breakfast while not constantly smelling burnt bacon. He set the plate down and looked for the remote, which was for the hundredth time, lost. He searched and searched, and even once transformed into a blood hound, in an attempt to find the lost treasure mankind had given him. Of course, it happened to be under one of the sofa cushions, coincidentally the one that he sat down on. He pulled it out and turned the television on. A man appeared on the screen and began advertising some lame product.

"Have you ever needed a pencil? But all you had was a pen?" the man asked.

The television switched images and showed a chubby lady who answered dourly, "Yeah…"

"Well look no further! Because we have the Siamese Marker!" the man yelled as if he solved world hunger.

"The Siamese Marker? What's that?" the woman gasped.

"It's a pencil, and a pen, combined!" the man yelled as it showed two hands clapping a pencil and a pen together, "Oh yeah baby!"

"Ohmigod! That's cool! But can you demonstrate it?" the woman asked curiously.

"Can I demonstrate it? (Beep) yeah I can!" he hollered confidently.

The TV flickered before showing a piece of paper.

"This is a piece of paper. You could use a pencil or a pen, but you don't want to use a pen because it's permanent. So what happens? All you have is a pen."

The woman gasped behind the scenes, and a sound effect ringed through the TV with a low pitched "Dom dom dom!"

"It's easy to fix, if you have the Siamese Marker! You just flip the pen side and you have a pencil! Voila! And if you need to switch back, just flip it again! Amazing!" the man beamed, holding up a pencil taped to a pen.

"Cool, but how much would this cost?" the chubby lady asked.

"Gee…" Beast Boy murmured with the roll of his eyes, "That's the million dollar question isn't it?" before bursting into chuckles at his _comedy gold_.

"Brilliant question! Well, on this _special TV offer_, you recieve a Siamese Marker for only $19.99." the man answered, "And we'll add in a box of erasers, free, for only five more bucks."

A cheeky grin appeared on his face, before he continued with, "But wait, I'm not satisfied, until I rip you stupids off. I'll double the offer, give you two Siamese Markers. That's two Siamese Markers, for the price, of three. Order now."

A phone number appeared over his face, and Beast Boy flipped the channel.

"Boo! Not even a single pun!"

"I hear ya kid." an unfamiliar voice called from near.

Beast Boy jumped at the answer transforming into a tree frog and clinging to the ceiling. He came down, transforming back, and investigated where the voice came from. A man's head popped over the sofa, giving Beast Boy a clear view on his face. He was pale, had bushy eyebrows, a large mouth, green colored eyes, and a hooked nose. He wore a twirly hat.

"Who are you?" Beast Boy demanded.

"Who am I?" the man asked quizzically, walking in front of the sofa.

He was short, really short. A little smaller than Beast Boy. He wore a sailor's uniform, and looked very awkward, and sounded like he hadn't had a drink in days.

"Who are you? And why are you in my house?" he asked back.

"Wh- dude! You're in our house!" Beast Boy retorted.

"_Our_ house? I don't know about this, I-I-I just met you. It's all happening so fast."

"Wh- wh- what?"

"I mean, this is all too much. I need some time to think about it. Keep the rings for now."

"Huh?"

Beast Boy had a hard time keeping up with the conversation, and didn't understand what this guy was talking about.

"Who are you?" Beast Boy asked again.

"Name's Jack, but my friends call me Fern." he replied.

"Fern?"

"No no no, Fern." the man corrected.

"Fern?"

"Mister. Fern."

"Mr. Fern."

"That's right." Mr. Fern replied with a wink.

"What are you doing in the Titan's base dude? Tourists aren't allowed."

"I'm not a tourist. I live here!" Mr. Fern replied.

"No you don't! Get out you creep!"

"I'm sorry; could you at least let me use the bathroom?" Mr. Fern pleaded.

"No!"

"I'll flush"

"Dude!"

"I promise!"

"Get out!"

"At least a bucket!"

"Ew!"

"Please!"

Beast Boy sighed; there was no point in even trying to get rid of the hermit.

"Fine…"

"I can hold it." Mr. Fern said.

Beast Boy's head felt like it was going to explode from pure rage. And Mr. Fern continued to push it.

"Why's your skin green boy?" Mr. Fern asked, "You part of one of them Blue Man Groups? For green people?"

"Wha…"

"Nasty. You look like a booger."

"Would you just stop?"

"Does your mother approve of that?"

"Shut up!"

"You're racist."

"Go jump in a lake."

"Hey!" Mr. Fern exclaimed as he walked over to Beast Boy's prized CD collection, "I know this song. This one. Not this one. You should really alphabetize these."

"Don't touch those!"

"Oops."

Beast Boy watched in horror as one of his favorite CDs fell to the floor and broke.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

He ran immediately to get some glue, but it was no use, his poor CD was no longer with them. Beast Boy stood up, and glared at Mr. Fern.

"Just get out of my house!" he bellowed.

Mr. Fern's smile turned into an angry frown, and he tackled and pinned Beast Boy against one of the walls.

"Shut up! Shut up!" Mr. Fern growled.

Beast Boy gave a terrified look to the small man, who had unexpectedly attacked him.

"Whoa there, calm down dude. I didn't mean to-"

Mr. Fern interrupted Beast Boy by taking a large whiff of him.

"You smell like horse radish."

"Well I-"

"That'll keep you alive for now."

"What?"

"Listen boy! You're gonna die!"

"No!"

"You know that? You know that?" Mr. Fern yelled while heavily breathing.

"No I didn't!" Beast Boy cried.

"You know what else?"

"What?"

"You don't wanna know!"

"Just tell me!"

"Apples are a stupid fruit!"

"Let go of me man! Please. I don't want to hurt you!"

Mr. Fern smacked him across the face before yelling, "I'm not wearing any underwear!"

With that Mr. Fern let go of Beast Boy and jumped out a window. Beast Boy just sat there, trying to figure out how it all happened. That was the most random and strange encounter he'd ever had. He decided that it would be best that he forgot the whole thing. If the Titans asked what happened while they were gone he'd just say that he was asleep the whole time. There was one burning question in his head, "If Mr. Fern visited him, would he visit the other Titans?"

End of Chapter

**Okay, that's the first part. Tell me what you think about it, because this is a new thing I'm trying out and I wrote some stupid stuff so I really took a risk. Who do you want to meet (be tortured by) Mr. Fern next? You can choose any Titan and I'll try to make it as realistic as possible. Until then, buh-bye.**


End file.
